The Flying Spaghetti Monster
Put simply, the Flying Spaghetti Monster (FSM) is our god: a divine being that closely resembles spaghetti and meatballs with eyes.
For general information concerning His Holy Noodly Goodness, I advise visiting The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster website. While we have much in common with our brothers and sisters in The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, there is also much that separates us. Of course, they share our reverence for the great Flying Spaghetti Monster, and we hope that one day they will come to love His prophet, Captain Jack Sparrow, as well. Unfortunately, for the time being we will have to accept their short-sightedness and focus on what unites us, rather than what viciously tears us apart. Another important resource for information about FSM is The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. It can be purchased here.
However, as many of you are no doubt too lazy (or miserly) to do all the research (and that's fine, we won't judge you), I will do my best to provide a brief overview.
Important Facts about the Flying Spaghetti Monster:
- He created us all.
- He seems to have a strange affinity with midgits, who played a prominent role in the society of early man.
- He resides for the most part in heaven with a beer volcano and a stripper factory. All good Sparrowists go there when they die.
- He interferes with experiments in order to confuse scientists. Any evidence for evolution is simply the result of FSM trying to test our faith.
- He has eight things that he'd really rather we didn't do.
- He played a crucial role in the creation of Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl, a cinematic representation of the life of Captain Jack Sparrow.
- Partaking in grog fests, acting more piratical, the consumption of pasta-based meals, being in tune with your environment, and watching the Holy Films are all ways to honour him.
- Each person's relationship with FSM is responsible for the otherwise inexplicable sensation of hunger.